Kurbaan.

Dua hai meri, har rooh ik jism ko.
Dua hai meri, wajahat do iss shaqs ko.

Yaadein hai unki, laachar gawaah huin.
Yaadein hai jiski, unke gunaah par sartaaj huin.

Unke kalme ke dum par, zinda laash huin.
Unke karm ke aks par, aaj huin.

Gumnaam hai koe, mohabbat ke qaabil nahi.
Gumnaam hai jo, qabool hai uski nafrat sahi.

Rehmat khuda ki, din-e-bahaar thi.
Rehmat khuda jo, raat mein bhi veraan thi.

Inn janzeeron ki main, mehmaan huin.
Inn janzeeron ko main, phek badnaam huin.

Kabool hai mujhko, har saza har ashiyaana.
Kabool hai mujhpar, har daga, unka fiqrana.

Qayamat ke woh, ghalib hi sahi.
Qayamant pe woh, kurbaan har kahien.

Siqaalat mein azaad, hazaaron tukre huin.
Siqaalat se azaad, wajid mein mast huin.

PS. That's the best I can do at 3.35am.

Meanings of some certain words?

Rooh - soul
Wajaahat - respect/dignity/beauty
Gawaah - witness
Gunaah - sin
Sartaaj - one with a crown..or rather, a crown itself
Kalme - word of god
Karm - deed
Aks - hatred
Gumnaam - anonymous
Rehmat - compassion
Janzeeron - chains
Aashiyaana - (here) a house made up of glass
Daga - to deceive
Qayamat - Judgement day
Ghalib - dominant/victorious
Siqaalat - burden
Wajid - creator

Gloom Blues

I've no clue what to write.
Lost interest? Completely.
Gosh, I cried so much. I'm such an idiot. Kill me? Yes, please.
Life's horrible at the moment. The movies I watch makes it worse. I wanted to write about Parineeta and Ishaqzaade, like in a critic-way..but well, I don't wish to do that, either, now.
It's 2.50am. Why the fuck am I still up? Freaking hell, I'm unable to sleep! I don't feel anything. Or even if I do, it's the unjust gloom.
Anyway, that's about it. I don't wish to continue this damned thing anymore.
Toodles.

All in my head.

Weird that I'm listening to Portuguese music. o.O
But still, this song's pretty Epic.

I want to scream, like literally. My head hurts, it's like this weird hurtful sensation in my head every night, like it's gonna explode, like there's something crawling. Maybe, it's my thoughts that hurt, but whatever, it feels real, and it's so fucking hard to sleep. Why in hell am I not able to sleep? Nightmares..been months since I had any, but they're back again. Everything's back again. The gloom, above everything.

I've my results tomorrow, most probably, and seriously, I can cry to death. So freaking scared! Everybody's expecting so much out of me, but the truth is, I've no clue how I did.
English went good, yes. Science was okay, I guess. Maths was, well, I should pass. Hindi wasn't that nice, as far as I remember. Social Science wasn't too good, either.

If I score bad, it's the end. 'Cause apart from proper studying, I don't see much to do in my life anymore.
I need to get into a good school, do college, apply for foreign services (I guess, that'd be the best. I won't have time for relations and I'd still get to see most of the world, make money, adopt kids and I'd be able to continue writing).
So, well, that's my dream, waiting to be pursued, only if it all goes well tomorrow.

why does love always feel like a battlefield. :3

Love?
Well, it's a beautiful feeling. A feeling of being alive for a reason. What goes wrong? Why can't it all go back to like it was? We make promises, we forget about them. We try so hard to be what we used to be, but we fail at that. Memories, that I'd treasure. Pain? It's ironical to even think about it.
What comes as a surprise to me is the fact, that my love was my muse. I'm failing at trying to express myself, right. Loosing words, loosing meaning, loosing the sense of still being alive.
And yet, I'm too fatal, or rather, too naive to think right. Maybe, the decision of not going back is right for me, considering, I wouldn't get hurt again. But, well, it all appeared to be worth it? The pain, the lies, the hurt, the love, the laughter and the smiles, all of it. Why now? Why is it the end?
Love feels like an over-sized t-shirt, which I grew fat into. :/ The fuck!

Argh!

Why should I give you another chance? Probably the 100th fucking chance! Why the fuck? Why do YOU deserve it? So you can go on hurting me more? Continue making a fool out of me? Oh, why, thankyou, BUT NO.
I'm responsible for my own feelings, and trust me, I can kill them as soon as they appear. I don't care anymore. - For real. Do whatever pleases you, just stop coming around saying 'sorry' when you're going to make the same mistakes again 'cause it's done. OVER IT.

I'm a chameleon like that. xD

One Fine Noon.

Slowly Drifting Away.

Further More.

And there it is.."I call myself a chameleon".

Probably, it's wife. :3

When you live near a forest, you come across weird creatures. And to be honest, these things do make me feel happy sometimes. Why? Not everybody gets to see how amazingly creative god is and how exceptional he has been while creating each and every creature/organism.
God's a painter. :)

Hotel for Dogs.

This movie, starring Emma Roberts (Sally from The Art of Getting By) , Jake T.Austin (Max from Wizards of Waverly Place), Kyla Pratt (Maya Dolittle from Dr. Dolittle), Johnny Simmons (Young Neil from Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World), Troy Gentile, Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe from Friends) and Don Cheadle (Basher from Ocean's Thirteen), is about this group of 5 kids, rescuing all of the dogs in their neighborhood from the eyes of the Animal Control Squad.

While running away from the police one day, Andy and Bruce with their dog, Friday, discover a hiding place where they find 2 more dogs. Basically, this place's a closed old hotel..which they reform into a hotel for dogs, eventually. They rescue bazillion dogs, go through a lot of trouble and not to forget the fact that their parents died, which makes it hard for them to sneak out from their foster home and a lot of other stuff. Still, the best part, the DOGS.


For someone like me who ADORES pets, Hotel for Dogs = EPICness.
I've had 9 dogs, a parrot, 2 rabbits, a turtle, fishes..and I guess, that's about it?

 a bad foster mother, there. :3

PS. There's an actual luxury hotel for dogs in Australia (Epic much?)
Link - Paw Paws | Lucky Pet Care*

Happy Birthday, Adi :)

I've no clue where I should start with, Cupcake, but anyway.
You're the perfect guy best friend ever.
What makes you perfect?
You keep up with all of my melodrama.
You NEVER complain. I mean, if you have to tell me something, if I'm going wrong somewhere, you do it politely. And with a 'i love you, however you're'.
You're sweet, cute, and nice. How?
Sweet because you always 'wait'. No matter, main kitna "bhaav" khaun, tu "bhaav" deta rehta hai :P
Cute, you're. No reasoning, here.
Nice? You listen to all of my bullshit, non-stop. You try to call me everyday. You never leave me alone if I'm off the track.
I'm your mustache-face for life :') and I don't mind.
You hug me, ALL THE TIME. It's nice, actually. Feels good.
You act like a brother when I need one (considering how protective you're of me), a father ('cause you scold me, every now and then in a really nice way, actually), friend? You can be both a girl and a guy :DD how? I can talk to you about girl issues :3 and lol, guy issues, yes. And you love me above everything, unconditionally. :)
You helped me with maths. Solved me questions :*
We had our study timings scheduled according to each other's break-time. >:D<
Geee, you make me feel special.
And it never feels awkward or weird when I talk to you about anything. ComfortZoningYou! :D
You make funny noises. It's funny, lol. :D
You make me laugh :/ how do you?
And you make fun of me, all the time -.-
But then you call me pretty, cute and all of those adjectives that I'd never believe in..but still, it feels nice :)
I can't wait to hang out with you -.- Go to the movies, Ice-skating (yes, my huge ass will break the ice if I fall down -.-), sit and talk, it's be nice.
You're the JHOTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :D Mera lambu sa mota baccha.
Andomgbbw.
And you turned 18. EIGHTFUCKINGTEEN. :3
Driver's license, voter id, credit card, college, NEW beginning O.O
Wish you luck and loads of love :*
Forever with you,
as your cousin puts it, "buddhu ladka",
-Zoyi >:D<

Burlesque.

So I just finished watching, this amazing movie called, Burlesque, starring Christina Aguilera, Cher, Stanley Tucci, Kristen Bell (the girl from Veronica Mars :O) and Cam Gigandet.

Basically, the story revolves around a small-town girl (as they all like to put it), as she runs away from Iowa all frustrated and somehow ends up at this Burlesque club in LA. And trust, if LA's all that, I so wish to visit. Only to see people perform at a club like that. As in, to see a "showgirl" perform.

So, anyway, Cher seems to be losing the club because of some economic problems, but Christina Aguilera tends to change that with her "capability" to sing, and also, the fact, that live shows are always, anytime better.

Well, a bit of drama, a lot of good music, and hell yes, Classy!

"Sweet love, sweet love, trapped in your love..
I've opened up, unsure I can trust.
My heart and I were buried in dust,
Free me, free us.."

“They all say, ‘Darling, what’d you do for those pearls?’ What?! I am a good girl…”

"You haven't seen the last of me.."

"love, sex, ladies no regrets."

Why is it considered a "fault"?

Diana, a shortfilm directed and written by Aleem Khan, is about a pre-op transsexual named, Mohit. Rejected by his family and those around him, he works as a prostitute in London, lurking around and earning for his hormone therapy. People, as ignorant as ever, even in London, continue to neglect what they may consider his fault. I mean, considering all of the possibilities, how can it be his fault?
It's showcased the day after Princess Diana's death, and in a way, Mohit is able to relate to her, considering being said that Princess Diana was also a victim of rejection.
Nobody gets to choose their gender or that, live under the pressure of what society may think of them. That being transsexual/gay/lesbian or anything of that kind, is a sin.

Nonetheless, it's pretty intense. Even in a 11min movie, I had tears falling down my face. Rejection..a doomed weapon!

Women without Men.

So last weekend, I watched 'Women without Men', the title may sound feminist and of that kind, but well, basically, more like breaking out from the rule of men. It's a film by Shirin Neshat, focusing primarily on 4 women, Munis, Faezah, Fakhri and Zareen.

Munis's story? Her brother keeps oppressing her. He wants her to get married, while she doesn't want to. He keeps her at home, forbidding her from going out of the house, while she really wants to raise a voice and be a part of the struggle going on in Tehran, supporting Dr.Mosaddegh as their Prime Minister, in revolt to the Britishers taking over them. And then, there's more to it, which I won't disclose, considering some of you would like to actually watch the movie or read the book by Shahrnush Parsipur.

But well, a quote by her, "Now there was only silence, and nothing else, and I think the only way to be freed from pain is to be freed from the world."

Faezah, well, she was in love with Munis's brother who got married to Pravin or Parveen..nonetheless, Faezah suffers from sexual abuse and Munis guides her out of the town to Fakhri's orchard, who comes across Fakhri and starts staying with her. But then, at this party, Munis's brother shows up and proposes Fakhri to allegedly marry him and consider Pravin her servant (and Pravin's with a child), so well, Faezah refuses saying,  "And perhaps when you get tired of me, I will serve your third wife".

Fakhri's a military general's 50yr old wife, who loved another military person who just returned to Tehran. She suffered from verbal abuse from her husband and she decides to leave him. She, while examining the villa and the orchard, finds Zareen lying in the lake. The caretaker rushes in to carry Zareen to the inside of the villa where Fakhri starts taking care of her as a mother. She feeds her, looks after her, talks to her and then Faezah visits.

Now, to consider Zareen, who was a prostitute, and from the look of her character, perhaps mentally ill, after all these years of abuse, she finally runs away. So, well, she walks a dirt road that leads to the orchard where she's found by Fakhri. Her character's pretty intense, even though I don't remember her uttering even a single word all through the movie.

My favorite quote from the movie,

"Death is not difficult. It is imagining it that is difficult. It seems that what we were all looking for, was finding a new shape, a new way towards freedom."

P.S. If anybody has the pdf file to the book, please let me know. I have been looking.

Cooking classes. :D

And because I don't want Prajwal to be the only cook, later in our house, I'm gonna start learning how to cook. :')
Firstly, with Chinese, then Italian, Continental, Thai and Paneer. :D
And a lil' of South Indian too.

It's going to be Epic :')
'cause our cook's really awesome. I mean, he's a really nice person. Happy and Cheerful. And when you're around such people, you feel really good yourself. So, well, yeah. There's a start. :)

Failure more important than success?

So, my mom made me read this article today for I've been a "little" low lately, considering a lot of things, so anyway, here it goes.

"The headline to this piece may seem a little strange considering that we are programmed to avoid failure and aim for success. But before we understand why failures are so important to achieving success, it is essential to define success and failure.

Success: We all understand success as something that leads to material wealth, beautiful mansions, luxurious cars, lots of jewellery, fame, friends, happy marriages and so on.

While all of the above are wonderful experiences (at no point am I against them), they are not really the truth of life and its beauty. Sure, they give us a lot of pleasure. But the pleasure we get out of all of this is at best temporary. In management jargon, these are carrots, while the absence or denial of these pleasures is painful, which makes them a stick.

While pleasures keep us in our comfort zone, it is really failures that push us towards moving in the direction of inner success. To explain better, let me borrow a few lines from author J K Rowling’s commencement address at Harvard and her interview on The Oprah Winfrey Show: “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”

Failure is the best teacher because it removes all bondages, fears, inhibitions, the what-will-my-neighbour-think kind of thoughts. It removes all erroneous notions of what the world thinks we should do, what is considered the “street smart” thing to do. Failures remove the chains that hold us back. They reveal the important and essential parts of our core strengths and values. They open us to our inner voice, which is the true guru living within all of us.

Several real people failed for several years and while failing, actually discovered their true selves. J K Rowling (right) is one of them. Others include Oprah Winfrey and Steve Jobs.

The journey from the outer world of pleasures to the inner world of bliss begins only with failure."

-Source.

This song's Perfect.

You Me At Six - Crash

Wait, where you say you've been?

Who you been with?

Where you say you're goin'?

Who you goin' with?

Keep me on my toes,

Keep me in the know.

Wait, keep me in your skin,

Keep me in your chest.

I'll wait for it to start,

I'll wait for it to end.

Keep me on my toes,

Keep me in the know.

But when I looked at her,

I thought of only you.

If only there was proof I could use to show it's true.

We were young,

We were in our teens.

It wasn't real love,

Spent behind bars.

Oh it's sad to think,

We just let it be.

Prisoners of love.

It's so easy for it to be,

Something second guessed.

Easy to read,

Don't let it become,

A meaningless routine.

It's meaningless to me.

But when I looked at her,

I thought of only you.

If only there was proof I could use to show it's true.

Just crash, fall down,

I'll wrap my arms around you now.

Just crash, it's our time now,

To make this work second time around.

We grew up,

We worked and changed our ways.

Just like wildfire,

Been burning now for days.

Tearing down those walls,

Nothing's in our way.

I said, nothing's in our way.

And I know,

I've said this all before,

But opposites attract.

We try and run away,

But end up running back.

And all I want to do,

All I want to do,

Is lie down and...

Crash, fall down.

I'll wrap my arms around you now.

Just crash, it's our time now,

To make this work, second time around.

Oh crash, fall down.

Just crash, fall down.

Just crash, fall down.

Just crash, fall down.

You make me Happy.

So, well, things that make me happy? Long list, maybe??

UCB Sweaters.
Stockings.
Writing.
Dancing.
Pwning xD
Hanging out with Prajwal.
Art.
Photography.
Aditya.
Sandeep :)) - Defines the fact that not all dumb people are annoying, or perverts. Haha.
Skype Group Chats.
Adrishi's face.
Mango Dolly.
Swiss or Austrian Chocolates.
Kittens.
Dogs.
Turtles..omg, above everything, this.
Eye make up.
Bags.
Lamp-posts.
Drake and Josh.
Same and Dean Winchester.
The Art of Getting By.
Chad Michael Murray.
Bunking school.
Meeting people off Facebook.
Coffee hubs.
Scooty rides.
ATIF ASLAM.
Kids.
Amaan - Best father ever. No matter whatever people consider him to be, to me, he pretty much sums up all I need.
Making mom happy.
Zain Bhaiya and Karan Bhaiya - Best brothers. Amazing people, only if I had known them for real.
Basit. Gosh, I've got to see him.
Talking to Tanu - Seeing her face.
Did I mention chocolates?
Dark chocolates.
White chocolates.
White Kit-Kat.
Kisses (the chocolate)
Sea.
Hills.
Nepal.
Followers.
Concerts.
All of the weird people I know. They make me feel, I'm not alone xD [too many names to take, so well, fit yourself into this category, accordingly, lovers]
Fenil and Sumukh. They've got these ways of getting to me. Fenil's a really nice guy, and Sumukh's photography..he's epic.
Hardik. We don't have to pretend, or have the need of explaining things, somehow, we end up knowing each other only better..we relate.. Pure genius, yes.
Kissing in the Rain.
Dancing in the Rain.
and hell yes, Rain.
Witchcraft.
Ancient Books and study files.
Reading.
Screaming.
Night-outs.
Smoking.
Getting high.
Saad - Haha, funny fellow.
Feeling happy.
Losing weight.
Just Being.

#EqualLoveEqualRights

The Art of Getting By.

Firstly, Freddie Highmore :O

Whatever happened to the kid I saw in Finding Neverland, Fiver Children and It, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, August Rush, The Golden Compass and The Spiderwick Chronicles..*wow*

But anyway, I relate to his character, by all means.

Why?
He said, "“Since the dawn of recorded history, something like 110 billion human beings have been born into this world. And not a single one of them made it. There are 6.8 billion people on the planet. Roughly 60 million of them die every year. 60 million people. That comes out to about 160,000 per day. I read this quote once when I was a kid,  “We live alone. We die alone. Everything else is just an illusion.” It used to keep me up at night. We all die alone. So, why am I supposed to spend my life working, sweating, struggling?…For an illusion? Because no amount of friends, no girl, no assignments about conjugating the pluperfect or determining the square root of the hypotenuse is gonna help me avoid my fate. I have better things to do with my time.”

My kind of philosophy, much?
Anyway, Weird movie..which makes it all the way better. I mean, nobody could have possibly pulled out George's character the way Freddie did.
He needed a reason, a muse, something for him to make an effort. He believed, it was all pointless, considering how he was supposed to die in the end, after all. But that changed..Better late than never (:

Favorite Quotes? 

"I'm kind of a misanthrope..not by choice, just a fact."

“You’re going to have to start using that brain of yours, to access that talent of yours, to show that beautiful heart of yours."

Sally: What were you like as a child? 

George: I was such a better person than I am now. I was happy. I was open. I was curious. But I'll tell you this, I knew that it was ending. I was overwhelmed with sadness when I realized that I was gonna change, that it was all most likely going to get worse. Like a nostalgia for the present, I couldn't shake.

“I need to tell you something. You were right, in a way, I should’ve been able to say what I wanted to. I’m in love with you. I always have been. I thought you were the unfair one, but it was unfair of me not to say it. So I’ve said it. I was nothing. I felt like nothing. Less than. You changed it.”

“You know, ticklish people are the best lovers. Everything is erogenous.”

“Women love being desired. Just throw her up against a wall and start kissing her. Chances are she’ll kiss you back, and if she doesn't, at least you tried. You’ve got to do something or else you’ll lose her.”

His teacher asked him about his homework and he replied, I couldn't do it because I was depressed. His teacher asked him, why? And so he replied..

:D

You could be Happy - Snow Patrol

Stuck on this song.

I could be happy..oh,well.

You know that feeling of sadness when you don't know what is it that is making you feeling this way? Or, probably, you have a million reasons to be upset, but you can't think of one to pick up and blame everything onto. You just cry, each day as it passes you by, you don't show, though people get a hint..you've changed. You're not what you used to be. You're not you..something different, something new, something disturbing, something unreal, something fake..but if fake is where you started with as that's what people may take you to be..did you actually turn into that "to-pretense-image"..did you actually lose yourself to that kind of stupidity? Did I lose myself..to what I might have portrayed to be. Am I responsible for all this misery I feel? For how I can never get my head straight on things? For I feel empty..like I have nobody. like I can believe in nobody. And even when people compliment me, it seems to be so unreal. Lies. Lies Lies..that is all what echoes in my head when I hear something good about myself. Don't I want to be happy? I obviously do. But how? I feel sad. I feel lonely. Even with a lot of people trying to make me happy..god knows why they love me, even when I'm a bitch to them mostly..they are there. And it's not helping. Nothing is helping. I just..I don't even wish to die anymore. I just want eternal sleep. It's the kind of tired..that doesn't go away by a 8-10hrs of sleeping. It's the forever kind of tired. A sick feeling all over my body that's wearing me out. Making me weak, killing me each day as it passes by, slowly..slowly..slowly..in a while, I'd fade away. I'd be a memory. I'd be distant. I'd be at the edge of it all.

Every single night's a fight, with myself..

These weird noises in my head, like every time I close my eyes, tuck myself in my bed, I hear the sounds made by an ICU heart monitor, or hissing, screeching, crickets..wind, or something. It's making me insane!

It's gonna be legen - wait for it - dary!

So I typed "Croatan" in Google Search, for I wanted to get some .gifs to post here from my favorite episode of Supernatural, yet. And to my surprise, people actually google'd "Croatan Virus". Like, seriously? It's so stupid.

Anyway, here,

For people who don't know, Dwayne (whose parents have already died and he doesn't know yet) comes in and they all check him for the virus.

Dwayne: Has anybody seen my mom and dad?

Dean (whispers to Sam): Awkward.

So, well, whatever, Cold Heart as it says, Funny. :D

Wish I had a brother like that :3  

(an infected town's person tells Dean to get out of his car)
Dean: Heh. Well, you are a handsome devil, but I don’t swing that way. Sorry.

(Dean and the Sergeant are both in the Impala, and are staring and pointing handguns at one another, both suspecting that the other is infected with the virus)

Dean: Well this ought to be a relaxing drive.

And these quotes,

Sam: Didn't you pay any attention in school?
Dean: Yeah. How bills become laws, the shot heard 'round the world...
Sam: That's not school! That's Schoolhouse Rock!
Dean: .... Whatever.

Sam: This is the dumbest thing you've ever done.
Dean: I don't know about that. Remember that waitress in Tampa? (shudders)

Duane Tanner: You aren't gonna shoot me!
Dean: You're gonna shut your pie hole, or I still might.

"Is the Croatoan Virus some sort of Demonic HIV?"
^Lol, I just read the above line on Tumblr somewhere..Dafuq? xD

:D

First.

Should I make this sound interesting? Or let it be the way it is? I have no clue.
I used to have a Blog on here, 3 years back, but then I just stopped blogging. And again, no clue why.
"Writer's block"? Sure is a good excuse, but seriously, these instances I have where I don't wish to write at all..Not nice. Not nice at all. It's annoying. I wish to write about so much. I have a book to complete that I haven't written for in months. I only completed 3 chapters and stopped writing. I don't know, I just feel so empty. It's not even a Cliche here, I just do. I don't feel like doing anything. Sleep, watch some show, eat for the sake of being "Alive", and there it goes again. I don't like talking either, in fact, it's highly annoying and pointless.
Anyway, I'd try to keep up with the "good" work, here.
Insha'Allah.
God bless.